cheap shopping in new york question by : Is this ok writing for a 13 year old?
I just thought of this right now. I haven’t even edited it or anything. Just wrote and wrote and this is what I came up with. Please tell me what you think.
I will never, ever forgive my father’s old company. How could they fire him like that? Now, we’re poor and have to leave our beautiful house for a crappy place in California where I have to go to public schools. A place with lazy teachers and students involved in gangs and having sex under the stairs during lunch, or at least that’s what I saw in movies. I’ll have to leave all my friends and our daily discussions of the new trends and diets. I’ll have to start all over and try to be popular again! It took so long for me to gain alpha status at my private school, who knows what they’ll do in public school? Je déteste ce!
Tomorrow will be my first day at Hill Range High School. I still haven’t picked out an outfit yet. WAIT! I totally forgot about the white cropped cardigan I bought before my family went broke. I can match it with this prada mini skirt and tuck my light pink flowy top in it. And… these platinum tiffany bangles would totally pull it all together. The gladiator sandals I got for Easter would totally complete the look. I saw my reflection in the mirror of my new bathroom. The pink really complimented my chocolate curls and big brown eyes. Fashion was the only thing close to my heart these days, and I can’t even shop anymore since my dad cut off my credit card to save money.
I slipped into my silk pajamas and lay down on my queen sized bed. The spring mattress will do my back really bad in the morning, but it’s better than the floor, I guess. I gazed at my ceiling and softly chanted, “I am Sheri Boyd. I am confident, popular, and beautiful. I am perfect in every way and people will love me at Hill Range High School.”
The next morning, I got on a school bus for the first time in my life. It was absolutely horrid. There was no mini-fridge, people were jumping around and sweating all over each other, the bus-driver smelled like cigarettes, and the bumpy road made me spill my coffee on my knee. Thank God it didn’t touch my prada mini, but I will sue if it happens again. It was so strange seeing girls in cheap shirts, skinny jeans, 10 dollar jewelry, and shoes from Payless. I looked like a princess next to these casual girls. Everyone was staring at me and my designer clothes. I thought they would think I was so cool, but I was wrong.
I heard a guy call me a label whore. This is so not true! I pay for quality, not name! An Abercrombie wearing senior smirked at me and called me spoiled little Sophomore. It was dreadful being called names when I would have been praised at my old school. I would never let this show, of course, and I smiled the smile of a model and gracefully stepped out of the bus when we arrived at the school. I could not believe my eyes. There were knockoff bags everywhere in the arms of girls with terrible hair and clown-like makeup. I almost fainted right there.
Just then, a guy with shaggy black hair and green eyes yelled, “heads up!” I lifted my head up and a football smacked me in the face. He was really cute and picked me up and carried me to the nurse. My shirt and cardigan were being terribly wrinkled, but I could not look away from his green eyes. He was so beautiful. Behind the board shorts and Neff T-shirt, he had model potential. He set me down on the nurse’s bed.
“I’m so sorry about that. I’m Derek. An uncoordinated dork,” he joked.
“I think I’ll be okay. My name is Sheri. Sheri Boyd,” I said while repressing a giggle.
“I haven’t seen you around school. You’re really pretty. You new here?”
“Yeah. Just moved here from upstate New York.”
“Oh, fancy, huh?” Derek chuckled. “I can tell you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth?”
I blushed a deep red. “Umm… kind of. Is that wrong? People here seem to hate me for it.”
“Nah. They’re just jealous. I don’t have anything against rich people, though. I admire them for their ability to look amazing while staying intelligent and charming,” he winked.
I blushed even harder. He was SOOO cute! “You know, it’s not like I’m a socialite from ‘Gossip Girl’ or anything.”
Derek smiled a crooked smile. “I have to go. Bell rings in one minute. Tell the nurse Derek hit you with a football. She’ll understand.”
I giggled at the thought of dozens of girls lined up with bruises on their heads because of Derek. “Okay. Thank you. See you around.”
Derek dashed away to his first period classroom. My heartrate slowed down and I lay there until the nurse came in and woke me from my nap.
cheap shopping in new york best answer:
Answer by Deesky
good! like your descriptive style.
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Shopping in New York
One of the best things about a weekend trip to the city of New York is the fantastic shopping it offers. The big apple is full to the brim with funky independent boutiques and upmarket designer stores so, whatever your fashion needs, you will be sure to find your next wardrobe favourite on the streets of this fabulous city.If you are planning a girly shopping weekend to New York it pays to be extremely organised as there is so much to see and do in the city that it will be very easy to get distracted, especially when it comes to shopping. Start by talking to your girlfriends about the types of stores they want to visit to make sure everyone gets their say. You may find everyone has different agendas for the trip so make sure you consider everyone’s shopping needs before you hot foot it to the nearest Paul Smith store.If you have the time, check out some research on favourite shopping districts and take a look at the best places to grab a bargain so you can hunt down those last minute goodies before heading home.
It’s also a good idea to check out any online local fashion blogs or articles where you can usually find information on a hidden fashion gem or two to visit on your trip.Places like Barneys or Bloomingdales are famous for their array of fashion favourites so if you want to please everyone on your trip make sure you stop by here. If you’re looking for designer heaven head to Madison Avenue where you will find plenty of top class boutiques stocked with the latest ‘looks’ straight from the catwalk, you may even get lucky and spot a celebrity or two. Spending an afternoon here will most certainly slash your holiday budget so make sure you try to be restrained with your purchases.If you want to grab a bargain, head to some of the best outlet stores in the city or track down some designer fashion sample sales where you can fight over that gorgeous pair of Manolos for a fraction of their usual cost. If you simply can’t make up your mind where to go book a place on one of the Shop Gotham’s shopping tours which will take you around some of the best sales and can introduce you to some of the most elusive stores in town. Spending a girly shopping weekend in New York wouldn’t be complete without a night out on the town with a few cocktails, so grab your new purchases and get yourself all dolled up for your very own catwalk debut. If you really want to make a night of it make sure you book yourself into one of the great new york city hotels right in the heart of the city.There is nothing like getting a wardrobe overhaul to make you feel your very best so if you are looking for a quick shopping getaway with the girls, head to New York for a one of a kind fashion extravaganza.
Shopping Trip to New York
One of the best things about a weekend trip to the city of New York is the fantastic shopping it offers. The big apple is full to the brim with funky independent boutiques and upmarket designer stores so, whatever your fashion needs, you will be sure to find your next wardrobe favourite on the streets of this fabulous city.If you are planning a girly shopping weekend to New York it pays to be extremely organised as there is so much to see and do in the city that it will be very easy to get distracted, especially when it comes to shopping. Start by talking to your girlfriends about the types of stores they want to visit to make sure everyone gets their say. You may find everyone has different agendas for the trip so make sure you consider everyone’s shopping needs before you hot foot it to the nearest Paul Smith store.If you have the time, check out some research on favourite shopping districts and take a look at the best places to grab a bargain so you can hunt down those last minute goodies before heading home.
It’s also a good idea to check out any online local fashion blogs or articles where you can usually find information on a hidden fashion gem or two to visit on your trip.Places like Barneys or Bloomingdales are famous for their array of fashion favourites so if you want to please everyone on your trip make sure you stop by here. If you’re looking for designer heaven head to Madison Avenue where you will find plenty of top class boutiques stocked with the latest ‘looks’ straight from the catwalk, you may even get lucky and spot a celebrity or two. Spending an afternoon here will most certainly slash your holiday budget so make sure you try to be restrained with your purchases.If you want to grab a bargain, head to some of the best outlet stores in the city or track down some designer fashion sample sales where you can fight over that gorgeous pair of Manolos for a fraction of their usual cost. If you simply can’t make up your mind where to go book a place on one of the Shop Gotham’s shopping tours which will take you around some of the best sales and can introduce you to some of the most elusive stores in town. Spending a girly shopping weekend in New York wouldn’t be complete without a night out on the town with a few cocktails, so grab your new purchases and get yourself all dolled up for your very own catwalk debut. If you really want to make a night of it make sure you book yourself into one of the great new york city hotels right in the heart of the city.There is nothing like getting a wardrobe overhaul to make you feel your very best so if you are looking for a quick shopping getaway with the girls, head to New York for a one of a kind fashion extravaganza.
New York has always been the mecca of fashionistas, some real some fictional, but the fact remains that the city is one of the trendiest in the world. There are many things that you can do in the city, but taking a shopping trip is a must, especially for the trend setters out there.
Many television series and books have informed the world of the fashionable reputation of the city. The character of Carrie Bradshaw epitomised the New York fashion scene, attracting masses of viewers and admirers alike. Gossip Girl has similarly endeared teenagers and fans of Cecily von Ziegesar’s books to the big apple. Friends also played a role in the reputation, in which the character of Rachel was seen to idolise the designers and the clothes they created.
From fashion week to the major fashion houses, New York screams luxury. The two famous stores, Barneys and Bergdorf Goodman have been at the forefront of the city’s fashion scene. The two stores offer up some of the most well-known designers and collections in the world. The stores are the places to be and be seen.
The Barneys have recently appointed a new CEO and the store has undergone a revamp, including a change in the colour of the awnings on the store’s front. There are many things about Barneys which endear it to people around the world, its entrepreneurial background and its fighting spirit. The company started in 1923 when Barney Pressman opened his first store in Manhattan with $ 500 raised by pawning his wife’s engagement ring. The company grew from strength to strength and was later transformed into a high-end store.
Bergdorf Goodman was founded 1899 when Herman Bergdorf, an immigrant from France, opened a tailor shop. Later he was joined by Edwin Goodman and in 1901 Goodman raised enough money to buy a share in the company. Goodman eventually bought out Bergdorf, who retired to France.
With Donna Karan, Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren, Vera Wang and others either coming from or making their names in the city, the influence of the city’s culture seems to inspire great designs and visionary creations.
Museums and other events exude the same style that is found elsewhere in the city. Everything about the area radiates glamour, even the Mayor is a billionaire. Many of the socialite studded events in the capital draw envious looks from those who follow the world of fashion.
So start planning your very own trip to the fashion city, to book your flights to New York click here.
Jane Shelley is an Australian travel writer. She loves venturing to Asia, Europe, Britain and the United States.
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That was really good, you have a good sense of description and grammar.
It’s certainly well written for someone of your age, but it’s not the kind of thing people will want to read. Readers are supposed to like the protagonist and root for the protagonist, but your protagonist is an overly judgmental, superficial, spoiled brat. She also happens to be what is called a flat character and lacks the potential to become a fully-rounded, multi-dimensional character.
You need to make her relateable and identifiable to readers in some way. Think about it, she’s starting at a new school. Many people will relate to that idea, but at the moment, your character does experience the anxiety of having to adapt to a foreign environment. Instead, she experiences disgust at having to be in the presence of ordinary people. Nobody is going to relate to that. People will only hate your character.
Also, some aspects of your story aren’t tangible. If Sheri was hit by the ball to the point of being knocked unconscious, then it would make sense that Derek would be carrying her. It would also be more ‘romantic’ if she were to regain consciousness and awake in his arms. However, she is only injured to the point of having a small bruise on her head and so it seems bizarre that he is carrying her around the school as they go about introducing themselves to each other.
You need to work on this to add more depth to it. I think you are writing about a very profound topic in terms of socio-economic status, class, adapting to a new environment, etc. However, you need characters people can relate to, otherwise they won’t connect with these profound ideas.
Anyway, you have real potential and I think you should keep going with this. A good piece of writing requires a great deal of commitment and editing,
Good luck.